Photo: Jan Theron Photography
Article by Pam Black, owner of Celebration House. First appeared in Die Beeld/Die Burger newspaper.
Now before you rush off and sms the happy news to all your friends or tell the world on twitter and facebook, rather take a deep breath and spend a few minutes contemplating how you plan to celebrate your nuptials.
Many couples, caught up in the exuberance of the moment have made the mistake of inviting all and sundry to their wedding before they have taken into consideration all the various aspects that need to be considered when planning a wedding. The last thing you want is to find that you have no idea how you are going to cope with finding a venue to accommodate all your casually invited guests.
The Guest List
Only once you have an idea of what your budget is can you start thinking about how many guests you can afford to invite.
The cost of the wedding reception can account for 50 percent or more of the total cost of the wedding, so if you are on a tight budget the best way to reduce your costs is to start by limiting the number of guests invited.
For many couples deciding who to invite to share this special day with them is the hardest part of organising their wedding and in large families it is usually the area of planning that is most fraught with problems.
Trimming the guest list is never an easy task but it’s a good idea to try to talk your parents into cutting back on the number of extended family members to be invited – and if they are unaware of it, they need to be reminded that in contrast to weddings held twenty years ago, they are no longer expected to invite all their business colleagues to your wedding. This is what happened to a friend of mine who had 350 guests at her wedding, many of whom she did not know, as most were her father’s business associates!
Weddings today are far more intimate affairs with couples choosing to celebrate with only close friends and family. Even though Prince William and Catherine had trouble keeping their numbers in check as they could only accommodate 1900 guests at Westminster Abbey, they wisely limited their evening reception to only close friends and family.
I have always felt that your wedding day should be shared with the people who are important to you and who are a part of your life. When you walk down the aisle you should look out at a sea of friendly faces that you know, not at distant relations you have never met! I was told once that the rule of thumb was to only invite those who are familiar with and know the name of your family dog! Another rule some apply is to invite only friends that they have had contact with in the past year. Friendships change over the years so don’t feel obliged to invite someone you no longer see just because you attended their wedding.
Unless they are in a long-standing relationship, it is also no longer necessary (and quite acceptable today) not to add ‘and partner’ when sending invitations to single friends.
If you have a large number of workmates it is also acceptable to limit invitations to those whom you socialise with after hours and not to include the entire workforce.
Many couples also question whether to ask the Marriage Officer but this is only necessary if you know him well on a personal basis.
I know one bride who was determined to know everyone who came to her wedding and soon after her engagement she held a family get-together so that her family members and the groom’s family could meet. The result was that on the wedding day the ice had already been broken which created a much more relaxed atmosphere.
If the bride’s parents are paying for most of the wedding it is only fair they should be allowed more ‘say’ regarding the guest list. If the groom’s parents would like to invite more guests than their allotted number (and provided the venue can accommodate them), it would be polite for them to offer to pay the cost of hosting their additional guests.
Bear in mind that reducing the number of guests will have a ripple effect on all the costs: fewer invitations to be printed; fewer table settings, chair covers and table arrangements, reduced quantities of food, alcohol etc.
Do you think single friends should be invited on their own or be given the option of bringing a partner? Share your thoughts with us at info@celebrationhouse.co.za.
